Hey! I Just Met You, So Call Me Crazy
Ever since I was young, I have felt different. Not because I was secretly queer, nor because I was the only woman of color in my classes, although both those factors contributed to my isolation. I felt different, because of how my brain worked. I overanalyzed situations constantly. I always felt like I was a character, in some sort of massive game. Like I was being controlled, and the things that were happening to me were some kind of divine intentionality. I was always extremely self-aware, to a point of concern. I always felt overwhelmed by everything, never able to choose isolated things to focus on. I never found it particularly easy to befriend people, because I genuinely do not understand what they could like about me, or what they would gain from being my friend. I realized recently that I have a hard time opening up to people, and am slow to trust and form close bonds. That is why so many of my friendships from when I was young seemed so surface-level to me, ...